Vocational Clarity--For Now

When we moved here to Anchorage this past August, one of the things we had to get used to was the Weather Channel forcast. We learned that seven days of rain didn't mean that we would never see the sun. Instead, on almost every day there would be, at least for a moment, somewhere, a patch of blue sky.

In terms of vocation, right now I feel like I am standing under one of those patches of blue sky.

I've been dabbling with the idea of applying to UAA's new joint PhD program with UAF in Clinical/Community Psychology. Very cool program. Emphasis on rural and indigenous psychology, especially in Alaska. Fun sounding courses like "Native Ways of Knowing."

But in this recent clarity I am remembering that I am a minister. For better or for worse, I love talking to and with people about faith and meaning and why in the world we should get out of bed in the morning. I love creating spaces where conversations like these can take place. I love the poetry and storytelling of preaching--and the passion. I love rituals new and old, the enacted pictures that point beyond ourselves and into the more we long for.

So this is the practical aspect of this clarity. I will find a job that helps pay the bills, one that doesn't kill my spirit, and that keeps the Anchorage apartment version of cabin fever from doing me in. And I will start the process of transferring my credentials to the UUA.

The ordination process in the PC(USA) was a series of hoops I impatiently jumped through. What do you expect? I was a young thing (and still am I suppose, just slightly older).

This time it feels different. Sure, I'll still get impatient with the process. But I do really want it to be a discernment process. I don't want to commit--and then find out, once again, that this is not the place or vocation for me.